My friend Catherine got engaged to her boyfriend Tito on Xmas Eve. Tito is Puerto Rican and when they went to tell his mother on Xmas day at a family holiday party, she refused to say anything or acknowledge this news. That is until, more guests arrived and she started making toasts and declaring, "Congratulate me! I'm going to have a grandson!"

And

Number 11: to plan a wedding (mine or somebody else's!)

I am adding to the list of new year's resolution:

Number 9: to not underestimate myself in any/all regards
Number 10: to call bullshit when I see it

I received in the mail from my wonderful publisher an Arthur Sze broadside packaged in cardboard with the following note:

Just in time
all over again
Hatsugama

Hatsugama, or "first kettle", the poetic name in Japanese for the new year. Indeed!

Some new year's resolutions:


1. live right livelihood
2. reckoning with the tribe
3. practice more compassion
4. practice right speech
5. finish the sports poems
6. write a short story
6. go on a spiritual retreat
7. make informed choices
8. get rolfed (tune-up)

We've seen a whole slew of great movies in the past few weeks: 21 Grams, Rabbit Proof Fence, Far From Heaven.. tomorrow all day at the movies (K says "what'd you do with the real Shin Yu?" - I am both in the mood to procrastinate on teaching apps and to veg, me not working is a very bizarre idea) to see Mona Lisa Smile and Cold Mountain. Dim sum for brunch and shabu shabu for dinner in Chinatown!

Lately reading manuscripts from 2 friends from the Art Institute of Chicago. "General Skies" by Beth Snyder and "corpus twenty seven" by folade mondisa speaks-love. Both manuscripts are absolutely brilliant and someone should publish these poets, like tomorrow, as they would greatly enhance the list of any press. folade's book explores the work of Jean Michel Basquiat and her ancestral, cultural and creative lineage as an African-American woman. The work blurs the boundaries between visual and textual.

Just received in the mail from La Alameda Press Michael Rothenberg's new book "Unhurried Vision", a beautifully designed book bearing the image of a Diebenkorn painting on the cover. The book documents a year in the life of Rothenberg, 1999, the year when Philip Whalen, poet and former Abbot of the SF Zen Center, became terminally ill and Rothenberg began taking care of him.

In today's junk mail, received a credit card offer from Bank One in Chicago with a 7.99% APR which is pretty damn low. I am considering cancelling my credit card which has a much higher APR and which financially benefits my undergraduate alumni institution. K and I got into a discussion about credit cards - well Bank One is evil, and if I were ever to sign up again for a credit card that would benefit any particular alumni institution, it would definitely be Naropa. In fact, I think that the image on the credit card should be the 8 spoked wheel of samsara - the wheel of death and rebirth and suffering that we are trying to get off of. Chew on that whenever whipping out that card to charge a new pair of leather boots and satisfy that craving and never-ending desire for things, more things. K pushed it a step further and proposed cards for all of the Buddha families - like a red padma card for those purchases that you can't live without. Green karma card for those airplane tickets and big trips. White buddha card when you have achieved "limitlessness"...

Got off work at 11 this morning, picked up new T pass, zafu cushion for Xmas present for Huan-Wen, lunch at Zathmary's than on home. K surprised me with an early Xmas gift, a silver locket from Tibet bearing the image of a canopy. When I popped the locket open, I found several white and orange seeds - chamae. The store keeper explained to K that these seed are traditionally given to pilgrims who go to visit His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

You could express dignity and mindfulness in whatever you do, but in a work of art the whole thing is very condensed. For instance flower arranging and making a brushstroke are unique and absolutely real. You could actually sum up the history of your life in one stroke - that's possible. In your life in general, you never make such a comment as you make in one stroke of the brush, in one flower arrangement, or in one line of poetry.

- Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

The final Lord of the Rings installment was not as heart wrenching as I thought it would be. Orlando Bloom had very little screen time though Viggo Mortenson had a fair share. I must be the last person on the planet to discover that Mr. Mortenson is also a practicing poet and photographer (cover story of this month's Vanity Fair!) and is partners in Perceval Press. Also he was once married to the fabulous Exene Cervenka.

Breadloaf Guidelines now available...

GrolierPoetry@cs.com
Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 10:24:09 EST
Subject: Grolier Poetry Book Shop, Cambridge, MA

Dear Friends:
Please accept my apologies for this intrusion. It
seems most likely that the Grolier will close within a month if the
present financial situation cannot be resolved. In order to raise
some much needed cash, a 15% discount on all backstockis being offered
throughout December ; I hope both of us will benefit from it.

Thanks for reading this.
Louisa

Your element is Air. You are an artistic person
with a unique sense of style. You are
intelligent; although prone to wonder in
thought which, prevents you from paying full
attention to most things, constantly active and
most likely like to sing. Constantly moving the
air is a force of nature. One moment you can be
a breeze the next a tornado.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla

No surpise..


You are a Folkie. Good for you.


What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Survived yesterday's root canal. Whew!

Head and shoulder are recovering nicely. Kort went to the grocery store and brought home these new band-aids from Curad which promote healing and prevent scars. The whole thing is sticky, like the ends of a regular band-aid are and they are flesh-toned and slightly transparent. Where the band-aid lays over the wound, a weird cloudy bubble forms, the medicine in the band-aid going active. The box says that these strips maintain the skin's natural moisture levels and protect from dirt, water, etc. They seem to heal the wound from the center outwards. The one problem with these band-aids is when they get removed/changed, the whole thing is sticky which can mean tearing off bits of skin and rewounding. Ugh!

Moving on..

From the Naropa alumni list serve:

If you haven't already heard, Share International
( http://www.share-international.org ) put out a Press Release
about the man supposed to be Saddam Hussein who is in custody:

--------
Share International news release no. 66, December 2003
Saddam Hussein?
A story calling for investigation

In a news release sent to media worldwide on 8 April 2003 we published our
information that Saddam Hussein had been injured in the first bombing of
Iraq on 20 March 2003 and died two days later from his injuries.
So who has now been captured by American forces?

In our view certainly not Saddam Hussein but an obvious stand-in, of whom we
understand there are at least three: two cousins and a close friend all with
similar family characteristics. We believe he is the same man — a cousin —
seen on Iraqi television on 4 April 2003, who picked up a child and laughed
and waved to the crowds. His body language was completely different from
that of Saddam Hussein. The end of his nose was much broader than that of
Saddam and he had moles on his temple and forehead — identical with the
captured person. At that time commentators were perfectly ready to question
the identity of the man seen on video. Now everyone seems conveniently to
have dropped any enquiry or second thoughts.

The Americans claim that DNA samples taken from the captive relate to that
of Saddam Hussein. How do they know? With what are they comparing them? In
any case, a cousin would obviously share some of Saddam’s genetic features.
>From the beginning of the Iraq conflict the proven lies from this US
administration, particularly about the weapons of mass destruction, give
little confidence that their information should be believed.

We are convinced that eventually the truth will emerge — that this confused
man now captured is not Saddam Hussein, but a double who may well have been
part of a plot to keep the fact of Saddam’s death from the Iraqi people for
as long as possible.

-----------

Here is a link to the video of Saddam on shown on Iraqi television on April
4, 2003 where he walks in a crowd and holds a baby.
http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/america_at_war/target_iraq/video_saddam.html

A still shot of the same thing:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/04/04/iraq/main547815_popup0_1.shtml

Saddam in 1971 (no mole on the temple)
http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2003/12/14/image588449x.jpg

Saddam in 1991 (still no mole on the temple)
http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2003/12/14/image588466x.jpg

"Saddam" in custody side view:
http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2003/12/14/image588402x.jpg

"Saddam" in custody side, front view:
http://www.cbsnews.com/elements/2003/12/14/iraq/photoessay588410_0_10_photo.
shtml
Reports of Saddam hurt circa March 20 (corresponds to the SI press release)
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/world/World/iraq_saddam_030321.html

For those that love details/history:
http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Possible-death-of-Saddam-Hussein

The perfect Xmas gift for me at black lava clothing in response to anyone who has ever looked at me and any of my companions as either my chaperone or escort - "I will not love you long time" .

Also cute-T's at ALAG. I like their classic T and the Girls are Greater than Boys.

We rented a German flick last night called "Mostly Martha" which is less about cooking (what the preview hints at) and more about a sense of home and family and what love looks like. Possible alternative career tracks I am contemplating for the new year:

- gourmet chef
- massage therapist
- educator
- luftmensch

On yesterday's commute I had the luck of eavesdropping on a lovely lovely conversation between a young musician named Uwal (?) (means tributary - and also the name of Cain's grandson who was the 1st musician in the Bible) and 2 Latvian ladies in their late 60s/70s. The ladies talked about secret recipes for making gefilte fish and Uwal invited them to a gefilte fish making party and they exchanged phone numbers on the spot. Uwal asked the ladies, do you see the world in music or in color? Music, one woman replied, ice cream is a symphony. Uwal replied , "My mother uses salt, pepper, and paprika, [her basic ingredients], the way that painters use red, blue and yellow."

Contemplating a new career....

Pedro Meyer on his latest project..

On my lunch break visited Horai San metaphysical book and giftstore in Brookline Village to shop for meditation cushions. The owner was playing a tape of the Hare Krishna mantra which reminded me of local Hare Krishna temple on Comm. Ave. The Krishnas make the best vegetarian fare around and offer a free dinner on Sundays with a lecture of the Gita. Back in Dallas, Kort and I liked to go to the local Krishna restaurant, Kalachandi's. Serving tamarind tea and yummy daily specials. "Chant and be happy".

Just finished reading Meera Nair's collection of short stories Video. It's a well-written but strange collection of narratives. Stories set in India dealing with relationships within families, love relationships. Bathrooms are a recurring motif in 2 of the stories. The opening story, Video, was most striking.

Picked up a bunch of writings on photo theory and need to delve into this reading material.

Also trying to get my head around "public art", i.e. what is it exactly? How does it differ from other sorts of art? What are the issues encountered in making it?

The weekend was a wash and today I am home in bed recovering from the flu. Had annual eye exam on Saturday morning. My clinician in an attempt to get me to authorize dilation told me horror stories about Retinal Detachment. The main things to avoid are airbags and eye trauma, like a punch to the eye. Apparently, baby-shaking as an infant can also cause this problem. Went home and slept most of the day. Yesterday morning K and I went over to Watertown diner for brunch than came back to the apartment. I had plans to go to a salon at Charles Coe's house but decided to stay home which was a very good idea. Vomited most of the remainder of the day followed by passing out, falling and hitting my head, and cutting my shoulder open. Way too much excitement for one day. How did I ever survive when I lived alone? Now that I know what the signs of retinal detachment are, I will be sure to look for them, though it's not like I could possibly deal at the moment...

I finally commit to buying a holiday card for this year's mailing to loved ones. This year's card bears the image of Wallace and Gromit. Wallace wears a Santa suit and beard and kneels next to Gromit who wears a cow bell dangling from his dog collar. Santa Wallace holds a paintbrush dipped in red paint which he uses to transform Gromit into Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer with the help of a rake positioned behind Gromit's head to create the effect of reindeer antler.

A note from my lovely and wonderful publisher, JB Bryan:

Happy Bodhi Day!
(where the only present is presence)

"Just after his enlightenment, as told by Thich Nhat Hanh in Old Path White
Clouds, Buddha has a conversation with his bhikkhus about the ritual of
ordination. It would seem logical to extend this sentiment about one kind of
ritual to other ceremonies . . .

'Bhikkhus, please listen. We are totally free, not bound by anything.
You understand the path now . . .. Walk as free persons and share the Way of
Awakening with others. Please sow the seeds of liberation and enlightenment
to bring peace and joy to others.'

One uses a wealth of symbol, tradition, legend and example toward the goal
of attaining freedom for oneself by incorporating these examples into one¹s
personal practice. Teachers and traditions will point the way, but it is as
The Dalai Lama says:

'At the heart of Buddhism lies the idea that the potential for awakening
and perfection is present in every human being and it is a matter of
personal effort to realize that potential.'

This would apply to every choice in life including choices about holidays.

Equivalence got its first review, and a deeply insightful one at that. Thanks to Joyelle McSweeney!

Ventured out into the snow yesterday to buy much needed snow boats. Over 7 years in snowy climes and this is my first pair of "practical" shoes. I am getting too old for looking fashionable at the expense of having cold feet or losing balance.

My friend Larry Lee is curating a show. Here is the call...

CALL FOR ENTRIES

“Coming Soon…”

An art exhibit at the Gene Siskel Film Center
in conjunction with the 9th Annual Asian American Film Showcase
for April 2004

Looking for 2D artwork that explores the influences and impact of film globally and Hollywood specifically on Asian and Asian American culture and vice versa through the eyes of Generation X and younger.

The role film as a whole plays through moving images and spoken words in shaping ideas of the American or European mythos is inescapable. Ideologies of who represents the hero or heroine and what is the perfect or imperfect society abound, propagated by the directorial and sometimes auteuristic visions reflecting if not determining the prevailing moods of the people, place or times. But beyond the politics of representation is the worn terrain where these tropes of stereotypes still reign. So how do these issues translate for the so-called second baby boom wave fluent in pop cultural language and mass media savvy? Given their sense of the postmodern, what are the effects on their world within this context? The artwork within this show not only harbingers another outlook borne of computers, anime, MTV and digital technology, but just as importantly invites viewers attending the film festival to further narrow the gap between art, life and cinema.

The work must be two-dimensional primarily. Due to particular restrictions imposed by the Film Center, only works which can be technically hung on the wall will be considered, allowing with some latitude interpretations of what is 2D or 3D. The postmark deadline for submission is January 31, 2004 .

Submissions should contain the following materials:
· 3-5 labeled slides (name, title, size, media, date) maximum with slide description sheet
· statement of work (or proposal if new work)
· contact information (please include phone number and email)
· SASE with adequate postage for slide return

DO NOT SEND ORIGINAL ARTWORK

Please send application packages to: Foundation for Asian American Independent Media c/o Larry Lee, 7455 North Rockwell, Chicago, IL 60645-1439

Digital submissions gladly accepted via email as jpeg attachment.
Please send to: larry@faaim.org

For more information, contact Larry Lee at llee.21stcentury@rcn.com

Had a talk with Kort tonite about Xmas and what it means to me this year. It's December 3 and usually I have a good start on my holiday cards by now, but this year, truly un-inspired to make effort. Just a handful of handwritten notes to friends and family and I have no desire at all to go shopping at all (sad but true!). Kort and my gift to one another are to pool our funds and to renovate the sun room into the tea room that we have wanted for some time. At a basic level, it will mean acquiring some tatami mats, though I am picturing getting rolls of handmade paper and covering the faux panel wood walls. Perhaps washing down the windows, buying a kensui for tea and any other details. The gift of committing to our own practice, every day, right here, right now.

A continuation of the sports poems project....

P.E.
there is something
for everyone and for
everyone else
there is

running or jumping
in place a basic
knowledge of the body’s
locker room

unlettered sweatshirts
and white crew socks
rubber shoes and rubber
pants’ed again, show

your school spirit or
just your undergarments
dirtying the parquet floor
of the gymnasium

on a rainy day,
the school colors are
grey as any prefab notion of
taught “fitness”

a sense of team or
tribe, it’s cannibals
and rats who delight
in eating their own

I think that Au Bon Pain and New England Soup Factory would increase their sales if they offered a MISO soup option - veg friendly and a good choice for the lactose intolerant.

Our friend Terri Czepiel is dancing in the following performance on Fri/Sat. Support modern dance! Check this out!

AFTER THE FALL
an evening of Multi-Media Dance Theater

Choreography/Multi-Media by Jamie Jewett
Animation/Multi-Media by Aaron Henderson
Text by Thalia Field
Music by Jeff Wallman & Tim Quigley

December 5th and 6th
Green Street Studios
185 Green Street (Central Square)
Cambridge, MA 02139

Call 617.864.3191 for tickets ($15 each)
www.lostwax.org

Back to my obsession with adolescence, sports, and the body, in thinking about seeing folks at the reunion this weekend - it seems to me that if you weren't into sports, you were left to fulfill your physical requirement in P.E. P.E. was sort of a sad class for the non-gifted - having spent 2 years in P.E. before joining the tennis team - it was the minimum requirement - and mostly it involved suiting up and sitting around on the blacktop. Perhaps the occasional calisthenic exercise. Once in a while there might be a volley ball game or a game of horse on the basketball court. It taught me nothing about being in the body and I'm somewhat confused about its place in "physical education".

I have a memory of being in junior highschool in Mr. Bailey's P.E. class. Mr. Bailey was this hot young thing - crewcut short shorts, no older than 30 when we were kids. Ultimately he ended up coaching P.E. at the highschool and married a former student. He used to yell loudly and had a silver whistle he would blow on liberally to get people's attention. I remember (not) learning the high jump in his class. He modeled the form of it for us, first by demonstrating at full speed, and than by pretending to run up to the bar and slowing down his actions, showing how the right leg is thrown over the bar before the left hip follows through and than you are over. When my time came to show what I had learned, I ran directly into the bar, much to my embarrassment. Conceptually I got the idea, but seeing something done, doesn't mean living with that knowledge and integrating it on a somatic level. Mr. Bailey chuckled and really I couldn't blame him. The kids in P.E. were a very motley and unskilled crew, very disconnected on a body-mind level.

I have been thinking a lot since this weekend of the notion of "tribe" - what it means to be born into a tribe that doesn't fit. How we make peace with that tribe.

Had fun on Doug's show last nite. We even had a phone-in question- a nice caller who asked "how can I improve my poetry". A big question. Doug asked me about how being Asian American informs my work and the dreaded question - do you make a living off of your work. Sigh. Provocative questions and an engaging dialogue. I've been interviewed in my life a few times now, and have become exceedingly self-conscious of how issues of assimilation and culture are dealt with, but very satisfied with last night's conversation.

Tune in tonite to Somerville Public Access TV at 5 p.m. Poet to Poet with Doug Holder and special guest Shin Yu Pai.