Spent the day at the Museum of Fine Arts with Kort and saw the Japanese postcard show which is completely amazing, new photographic acquisitions, and Chinese jades. Included in the postcard exhibition were some exceptional "hold to light" postcards - in this case displayed on top of a light box - which when the light was turned on revealed a new dimension of the postcard - one image with a nurse when illuminated showed her ailing patient - another image when lit from behind of a camp scene at night showed men inside a tent. The Japanese apparently created these layered scenes by using laminated layers of imagery imposed on top of another. The postcards which struck me most were the collaged styles that incorporated black and white photography and colorful design elements.
On the way back from the MFA, to avoid the Red Sox traffic, we walked over the Mass Ave/MIT bridge thru Central Square and came across a funky little antique shop filled with stereoscopic image cards, vintage cameras and film equipment. In a glass case full of jewelry, there was a velvet box filled with human glass eyes in varying shades of blue and brown. In the back of the store I ran into the same thing again - a beautiful little ring or padded earring box, but inside a brown glass eye.
We went crazy this weekend and rented several films which we'd never seen - Zhang Yimou's "Happy Times", "The Pianist", "Double Vision", "What time is it there", and "Japanese Story". Incidentally, Zhang Yimou was in town last week premiering his new film "Hero" and accepting the Coolidge Award administered by the Coolidge Corner Theater. The film at the Coolidge sold out (Jet Li stars in a serious role which I hope will seriously help him break out of the roles he's done for American film), but Zhang Yimou has been on my mind a lot and our video store just happened to have "Happy times", which is a very different film than some of the director's other work. Quick narrative synopsis - old Zhao who in trying to woo an overweight wife for himself befriends his paramour's blind stepdaughter and it is their friendship and sincerity which is at the heart of the story. Was staggered by "Japanese Story" - the beauty of Australia's Pilbara Desert and the cross-cultural relationship between the characters. Tsai Ming Liang's "what time is it there" is beautifully composed, strange meditation on loss and loneliness set in both Paris and Taiwan.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Another overcast day in Boston. Misplaced my umbrella at a friend's house. If the weather in Portland is anything like it's been here in Boston for the past week, I think we are gonna have to move to Boulder instead.
Got together last night with David and Jim S to have a conversation about painting and poetry. David's putting together a nice little catalog for his show at the Sherborn Library earlier this winter. In the course of the conversation the question came up of whether we as artists think about our viewer/reader/listener. Both David and Jim said they do not make work with a reader/viewer in mind - whereas I took the opposite stance. I think the visual direction that my texts are moving in are all about the reader/viewer - not to the degree that in controls the outcome, but certainly it informs the work on some level. And especially with collaborations - I am thinking of my collaborator as my 1st reader most of the time. Curious as to the creative process for other folk. What's your relationship to your reader/viewer? Does it matter and how?
Got together last night with David and Jim S to have a conversation about painting and poetry. David's putting together a nice little catalog for his show at the Sherborn Library earlier this winter. In the course of the conversation the question came up of whether we as artists think about our viewer/reader/listener. Both David and Jim said they do not make work with a reader/viewer in mind - whereas I took the opposite stance. I think the visual direction that my texts are moving in are all about the reader/viewer - not to the degree that in controls the outcome, but certainly it informs the work on some level. And especially with collaborations - I am thinking of my collaborator as my 1st reader most of the time. Curious as to the creative process for other folk. What's your relationship to your reader/viewer? Does it matter and how?
Monday, May 24, 2004
Saturday, May 22, 2004
I have gone to the gym 5 days in a row and am attempting to eliminate most dairy, sugar, and wheat out of my diet. Recent days are largely unstructured. What I miss about colony life, in addition to the people, were the picnic lunches delivered to my porch steps. Lunch, the midday meal seems to cause a big dilemma back at home - find myself postponing it, skipping it, avoiding it - the interruption from work and yet if skipped, creates an energy void and lack of focus - but very distracting to stop whatever I'm doing.
Lots of cooking around the casa lately - grilled salmon, hiyayakko, wakame salad, parboiled fiddleheaded ferns, steamed asparagus.. last week we had our first Japanese tea with MacDowell friends Peter Adsett and Tia Blassingame. Reminded us of times with the Boulder tea group, laughter, silliness, and a slowing down of awareness. Peter makes these amazing paintings that can be described as "abstract" and "minimalist" but are not either exactly. Check out his work at William Mora in Australia or GRANTPIRRIE. Tia is working on a scholarly text on black architects in America, their heritage and impact on American culture. Next year talk of planning a trip into the Australian bush with some of the colonists who were at MacDowell. The "bush" evokes some wild images in my own mind - as Peter says, you either come out alive or dead - yes, right 2 options, fabulous, either way you meet death in one form or another, and what a wonderful thing that would be. Everything we do is a kind of preparation for death and a simultaneous act of living. Better start getting in condition for that trip into the bush!
After seeing Morgan Spurlock's "Super Size Me", I will never again put fast food in this body. Go and see this film about the media and fast food culture, obesity in this country, food and public schools, and physical education.
Lots of cooking around the casa lately - grilled salmon, hiyayakko, wakame salad, parboiled fiddleheaded ferns, steamed asparagus.. last week we had our first Japanese tea with MacDowell friends Peter Adsett and Tia Blassingame. Reminded us of times with the Boulder tea group, laughter, silliness, and a slowing down of awareness. Peter makes these amazing paintings that can be described as "abstract" and "minimalist" but are not either exactly. Check out his work at William Mora in Australia or GRANTPIRRIE. Tia is working on a scholarly text on black architects in America, their heritage and impact on American culture. Next year talk of planning a trip into the Australian bush with some of the colonists who were at MacDowell. The "bush" evokes some wild images in my own mind - as Peter says, you either come out alive or dead - yes, right 2 options, fabulous, either way you meet death in one form or another, and what a wonderful thing that would be. Everything we do is a kind of preparation for death and a simultaneous act of living. Better start getting in condition for that trip into the bush!
After seeing Morgan Spurlock's "Super Size Me", I will never again put fast food in this body. Go and see this film about the media and fast food culture, obesity in this country, food and public schools, and physical education.
It's an overcast day in Boston. Just put some homemade gazpacho in the refridgerator to chill. Next must drain tofu. Haven't written much since my return to the city - taking some time this early evening to catch up.
Movies I have been to see recently:
The Laws of Attraction
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
Super Size Me
Shrek 2
All are worth seeing for many different reasons - Spring, Summer... I have been wanting to specifically write about, put some notes down. This is a Korean film about a Buddhist master and his young disciple who the audience sees grow up over the span of the 2 hour movie. The boy is presumably orphaned and taken in by the Zen Master who lives in a house that is built/floats in the center of a small lake. The seasons in the title of the film reference the seasons and stages of the young disciple's life. As a small boy, he entertains himself by catching animals - a fish, a frog, and a snake and tying rocks around them with string and watching them struggle. The Zen master follows his student and sees him causing the suffering of these sentient beings. So one night the master takes a large rock he has found and with some rope, ties the rock to the boy's back as he sleeps. In the morning, the boy crawls out of bed with the rock on his back and begs his master to remove the rock. The master tells him that he will release him from his burden when he has released all of the animals from the rocks that he tied them to. "If any one of those animals died, you will carry a stone in your heart for the rest of your life," he says. The young boy sets out and finds the fish which has died in its struggle to swim. The boy buries the fish and goes on to find the frog which is still alive. He frees the frog and goes on to search for the snake which he finds dead in a pool of blood. The boy weeps uncontrollably as the Zen master looks over his shoulder silently. The season shifts and we see the disciple as a young man in his late teens. A young woman and her mother visit the Zen Master hoping to cure the young woman of her mystery illness. The young monk falls in love with the woman and they begin a sexual relationship which heals the woman of her spirit sickness and causes the young monk to leave his teacher when the affair is discovered and the young woman is sent away. In Fall, we see the Zen Master who has just returned from buying some cake from the local village. The cake is wrapped in newspaper, and as the Master unwraps the cake he notices a news item in the paper - a 30 yr old man has fled after murdering his wife. The newspaper prints a photo of the young monk who has grown much leaner, tougher looking. The monk, now a layperson, returns to his old home on the lake and seeks refuge with his teacher. When he tries to commit suicide by suffocating himself - placing paper over his nose and mouth - his master beats him into unconsciousness. When he wakes up, the Zen master has painted every word of the perfection of wisdom sutra on the deck of the house. He instructs the young man to carve out with the knife he used to murder his wife, every word of the sutra. Detectives come to retrieve the young man, but they allow him and even assist him in finishing his task at the end of which they take him away to prison. At this point, the Zen master's time has come and he prepares himself for a ritual death in which he sets himself afire while meditating. This scene is particularly heartbreaking. Shift to winter - the disciple, now a middle aged man returns to the house on the lake in winter and finds the house long abandoned. He begins his practice again, studying the sacred texts and restoring the home to its former condition. Towards the end of the film, a woman comes to the house of the old Zen master and leaves her baby with the disciple. The film ends with the baby grown into a young boy and the disciple in the role of teacher, as his master once was to him. The film is beautifully shot with many a poetic image, slow pacing, with an emotional immediacy that was extremely gripping.
Movies I have been to see recently:
The Laws of Attraction
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
Super Size Me
Shrek 2
All are worth seeing for many different reasons - Spring, Summer... I have been wanting to specifically write about, put some notes down. This is a Korean film about a Buddhist master and his young disciple who the audience sees grow up over the span of the 2 hour movie. The boy is presumably orphaned and taken in by the Zen Master who lives in a house that is built/floats in the center of a small lake. The seasons in the title of the film reference the seasons and stages of the young disciple's life. As a small boy, he entertains himself by catching animals - a fish, a frog, and a snake and tying rocks around them with string and watching them struggle. The Zen master follows his student and sees him causing the suffering of these sentient beings. So one night the master takes a large rock he has found and with some rope, ties the rock to the boy's back as he sleeps. In the morning, the boy crawls out of bed with the rock on his back and begs his master to remove the rock. The master tells him that he will release him from his burden when he has released all of the animals from the rocks that he tied them to. "If any one of those animals died, you will carry a stone in your heart for the rest of your life," he says. The young boy sets out and finds the fish which has died in its struggle to swim. The boy buries the fish and goes on to find the frog which is still alive. He frees the frog and goes on to search for the snake which he finds dead in a pool of blood. The boy weeps uncontrollably as the Zen master looks over his shoulder silently. The season shifts and we see the disciple as a young man in his late teens. A young woman and her mother visit the Zen Master hoping to cure the young woman of her mystery illness. The young monk falls in love with the woman and they begin a sexual relationship which heals the woman of her spirit sickness and causes the young monk to leave his teacher when the affair is discovered and the young woman is sent away. In Fall, we see the Zen Master who has just returned from buying some cake from the local village. The cake is wrapped in newspaper, and as the Master unwraps the cake he notices a news item in the paper - a 30 yr old man has fled after murdering his wife. The newspaper prints a photo of the young monk who has grown much leaner, tougher looking. The monk, now a layperson, returns to his old home on the lake and seeks refuge with his teacher. When he tries to commit suicide by suffocating himself - placing paper over his nose and mouth - his master beats him into unconsciousness. When he wakes up, the Zen master has painted every word of the perfection of wisdom sutra on the deck of the house. He instructs the young man to carve out with the knife he used to murder his wife, every word of the sutra. Detectives come to retrieve the young man, but they allow him and even assist him in finishing his task at the end of which they take him away to prison. At this point, the Zen master's time has come and he prepares himself for a ritual death in which he sets himself afire while meditating. This scene is particularly heartbreaking. Shift to winter - the disciple, now a middle aged man returns to the house on the lake in winter and finds the house long abandoned. He begins his practice again, studying the sacred texts and restoring the home to its former condition. Towards the end of the film, a woman comes to the house of the old Zen master and leaves her baby with the disciple. The film ends with the baby grown into a young boy and the disciple in the role of teacher, as his master once was to him. The film is beautifully shot with many a poetic image, slow pacing, with an emotional immediacy that was extremely gripping.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Saturday, May 15, 2004
I am back from retreat. Life is good. Here are some poems:
HOZHO*
no
words
but in
actions
reduce
compress
present
tense operations
perform
bird’s eye
view
of compost
composition
not figure
against ground
likeness & unlikeness
pigment ground
electrical currents
a basis for
belief in
the collapse of
meaning
into the intimate & the vast
(* Navajo word for “beauty”, balance, harmony - & the effort towards)
chop wood, carry water
love and adventure are
words that can be found
in any dictionary -
they are simple days
free of high romance,
excitement another
person might call
them boring:
sweep porch
wash dishes
boil rice
boil water
sit at writing desk
sit before shrine
write poems
I left my work to learn how
sit
sleep
& breathe
I count all the people
who have entered
both my life and
heart on
one open
hand
HOZHO*
no
words
but in
actions
reduce
compress
present
tense operations
perform
bird’s eye
view
of compost
composition
not figure
against ground
likeness & unlikeness
pigment ground
electrical currents
a basis for
belief in
the collapse of
meaning
into the intimate & the vast
(* Navajo word for “beauty”, balance, harmony - & the effort towards)
chop wood, carry water
love and adventure are
words that can be found
in any dictionary -
they are simple days
free of high romance,
excitement another
person might call
them boring:
sweep porch
wash dishes
boil rice
boil water
sit at writing desk
sit before shrine
write poems
I left my work to learn how
sit
sleep
& breathe
I count all the people
who have entered
both my life and
heart on
one open
hand
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Saturday, April 17, 2004
This message came to my in-box via ZoneZero, concerning a very important museum of photography in my home town in So Cal that is endangered. I grew up going to shows at this museum and it occupies a fond place in my heart. Please take a moment to read this post and consider emailing the university concerning recent budget cuts. Thanks.
Dear Friends,
Today I sent the following letter to Chancellor Córdova. I urge you to take
a minute to also write to her asking her to review and reverse the announced
cuts which will essentially close down the museum. Her email is
france.cordova@ucr.edu.
I know that over the years UCR/CMP has enriched the community and the
university and has been a strong component in the intellectual and cultural
life of Riverside and Southern California.
I ask you to voice your support and help retain this important institution.
Cheers,
Jonathan
=================================================
Sent April 13, 2004:
Dear France,
Since its beginning over 30 years ago UCR/California Museum of Photography
has provided students at the university and scholars from around the world
with a world class academic and exhibition program, has reached out to the
community with a model public education program, and has assembled an
extraordinary collection of photographs, historical objects and artifacts to
form an institution that has become one of America's outstanding small art
museums.
Because of the university's belief in the museum, the generous support of
the citizens of Riverside, and strong support from national and federal
foundations and agencies, UCR/CMP is now known the world-over as a research and exhibition facility and workshop where students, artists, scholars, faculty, and the public can work, experiment and interact. Its presence at UCR has provided a professional environment for student and faculty research, brought the world©ˆs most important photographic artists to the university, and promoted and advanced artistic, visual and humanistic
discourse. The museum has become an integral part of the university©ˆs and
community's intellectual life.
During the last decade, the museum has achieved the university's goal of
world-class excellence and visibility. The museum has curated exhibitions
seen by millions of people around the globe in over 15 countries, has
collaborated with Sony IMAX on films that have promoted the university's
name worldwide, established a web site that receives over 350,000 hits each
day, regularly garnered commentary in the national press ranging from the
Los Angeles Times to the New York Times, and drawn close to $3 million in
outside support.
But if the cuts announced to us last week are implemented, the California
Museum of Photography will have to essentially close its doors to both the
academic program and to the community. Over the last decade, because of a
series of ongoing budget cuts that began in the early 90s the museum--which
once had a staff of 12--has achieved its prominence with an exceedingly
small but dedicated staff of 8: a staff smaller than any comparable
University of California museum. As of January 2004, the full compliment of
museum staff of 8 has been reduced to 6. The announcement last week that we would be cut another 3 positions or 40% from our current budget makes it
impossible for the museum program as it is now known to continue.
The museum has been extraordinarily successful in fundraising. Indeed, as a
facility that receives no UCR program funds, the museum has raised all funds
needed to cover projects and exhibitions. But raising funds takes people.
And awards are based on the strength of programs. With the announced cuts
the museum will have neither the programs nor the staff to continue.
More than this, because our current $230,000 in Federal awards (not
including the $500,000 Save America's Treasures award) is matched against
current staff, letting key staff go will mean our inability to match these
funds, and the museum will be forced to forfeit these grants. Further, it is
difficult to imagine that the fundraising for the Culver Center will be
successful when its neighboring UCR institution, UCR/CMP, will be closed
except for very limited hours.
The University has a societal, legal and moral obligation to protect and
conserve its collections: particularly the inestimable Keystone-Mast Stereo
Glass Plate Collection; and the University of California's Ansel Adam's Fiat
Lux Collection. However, under the new budget the collections will no longer
be open to the public and will only be accessible to scholars on a very
limited basis. Enough funding remains in the museum's accounts to provide a
limited exhibition program next year for shows to which the museum has made previous commitments. These exhibitions would be opened to the public only two days a week. Because of lack of staff and lack of a curator, no further
exhibitions will be planned, neither will faculty have access to the facility for exhibitions or programs. Considering the safety of the collections and the limited staff, all non-museum use of the building, such as hosting other academic functions, university events and public activities, will cease. The museum's public and community programs will cease, the Digital Studio will close, and the museum's forthcoming summer commitment to the city's Upward Bound program will be eliminated. Because the museum's web site is the most visited photography web site in the world and a rich resource of visual practices, material and curriculum, an attempt will be made to continue this web site's presence.
It is indeed alarming that the most prominent jewel in the UCR's cultural
and artistic presence should be so diminished. I most respectfully ask you
to review and reverse this plan. The pull back in state funds has certainly
produced a very difficult situation for the university. The museum is more
than willing to take its fair share of the 7.5% cut. But a 40% cut will be
catastrophic.
I know that you recognize the museum's importance to students and to the UCR community. I hope you will to find a way to ensure the continuation of this key UCR facility and national treasure.
Sincerely,
Jonathan
~~~~
Jonathan Green, Director
UCR/California Museum of Photography
University of California, Riverside
Riverside CA 92521
Dear Friends,
Today I sent the following letter to Chancellor Córdova. I urge you to take
a minute to also write to her asking her to review and reverse the announced
cuts which will essentially close down the museum. Her email is
france.cordova@ucr.edu.
I know that over the years UCR/CMP has enriched the community and the
university and has been a strong component in the intellectual and cultural
life of Riverside and Southern California.
I ask you to voice your support and help retain this important institution.
Cheers,
Jonathan
=================================================
Sent April 13, 2004:
Dear France,
Since its beginning over 30 years ago UCR/California Museum of Photography
has provided students at the university and scholars from around the world
with a world class academic and exhibition program, has reached out to the
community with a model public education program, and has assembled an
extraordinary collection of photographs, historical objects and artifacts to
form an institution that has become one of America's outstanding small art
museums.
Because of the university's belief in the museum, the generous support of
the citizens of Riverside, and strong support from national and federal
foundations and agencies, UCR/CMP is now known the world-over as a research and exhibition facility and workshop where students, artists, scholars, faculty, and the public can work, experiment and interact. Its presence at UCR has provided a professional environment for student and faculty research, brought the world©ˆs most important photographic artists to the university, and promoted and advanced artistic, visual and humanistic
discourse. The museum has become an integral part of the university©ˆs and
community's intellectual life.
During the last decade, the museum has achieved the university's goal of
world-class excellence and visibility. The museum has curated exhibitions
seen by millions of people around the globe in over 15 countries, has
collaborated with Sony IMAX on films that have promoted the university's
name worldwide, established a web site that receives over 350,000 hits each
day, regularly garnered commentary in the national press ranging from the
Los Angeles Times to the New York Times, and drawn close to $3 million in
outside support.
But if the cuts announced to us last week are implemented, the California
Museum of Photography will have to essentially close its doors to both the
academic program and to the community. Over the last decade, because of a
series of ongoing budget cuts that began in the early 90s the museum--which
once had a staff of 12--has achieved its prominence with an exceedingly
small but dedicated staff of 8: a staff smaller than any comparable
University of California museum. As of January 2004, the full compliment of
museum staff of 8 has been reduced to 6. The announcement last week that we would be cut another 3 positions or 40% from our current budget makes it
impossible for the museum program as it is now known to continue.
The museum has been extraordinarily successful in fundraising. Indeed, as a
facility that receives no UCR program funds, the museum has raised all funds
needed to cover projects and exhibitions. But raising funds takes people.
And awards are based on the strength of programs. With the announced cuts
the museum will have neither the programs nor the staff to continue.
More than this, because our current $230,000 in Federal awards (not
including the $500,000 Save America's Treasures award) is matched against
current staff, letting key staff go will mean our inability to match these
funds, and the museum will be forced to forfeit these grants. Further, it is
difficult to imagine that the fundraising for the Culver Center will be
successful when its neighboring UCR institution, UCR/CMP, will be closed
except for very limited hours.
The University has a societal, legal and moral obligation to protect and
conserve its collections: particularly the inestimable Keystone-Mast Stereo
Glass Plate Collection; and the University of California's Ansel Adam's Fiat
Lux Collection. However, under the new budget the collections will no longer
be open to the public and will only be accessible to scholars on a very
limited basis. Enough funding remains in the museum's accounts to provide a
limited exhibition program next year for shows to which the museum has made previous commitments. These exhibitions would be opened to the public only two days a week. Because of lack of staff and lack of a curator, no further
exhibitions will be planned, neither will faculty have access to the facility for exhibitions or programs. Considering the safety of the collections and the limited staff, all non-museum use of the building, such as hosting other academic functions, university events and public activities, will cease. The museum's public and community programs will cease, the Digital Studio will close, and the museum's forthcoming summer commitment to the city's Upward Bound program will be eliminated. Because the museum's web site is the most visited photography web site in the world and a rich resource of visual practices, material and curriculum, an attempt will be made to continue this web site's presence.
It is indeed alarming that the most prominent jewel in the UCR's cultural
and artistic presence should be so diminished. I most respectfully ask you
to review and reverse this plan. The pull back in state funds has certainly
produced a very difficult situation for the university. The museum is more
than willing to take its fair share of the 7.5% cut. But a 40% cut will be
catastrophic.
I know that you recognize the museum's importance to students and to the UCR community. I hope you will to find a way to ensure the continuation of this key UCR facility and national treasure.
Sincerely,
Jonathan
~~~~
Jonathan Green, Director
UCR/California Museum of Photography
University of California, Riverside
Riverside CA 92521
Friday, April 02, 2004
Today at 12 noon my identity will once again shift as I enter the ranks of the unemployed. I have been looking forward to this moment with both great excitement and fear for as long as I have been in Boston. One can only hope that better things are in store for the short and long-term future.
Many years ago, an immigrant from Ireland of my parents' generation said to me while talking about why people leave their homelands,
"One cannot live on beauty alone."
At the time, I had just finished my graduate program and was working about 3 different jobs in Chicago, none of which provided health insurance. Simultaneously my immune system was crashing and I was very very sick. Downtrodden worker bee that I was, I accepted that statement without any argument and thought, gee, maybe you better settle down and accept a full-time job in every sense of "acceptance". It is the practical thing to do. Beauty? Beauty doesn't pay the medical bills or rent.
Recently, I mentioned this statement to my partner and asked rather plaintively, what do you think, can one live on beauty alone? Kort's response, what are you talking about? Of course you can! Coming from him, I was filled with a great confidence about the future. There are compromises and sacrifices made with every decision, but as Gen-X'ers, and as products of a Naropan education, our decisions are based on something outside of our parents' and our predecessors' value systems. In the end what is there really, what reason to live, but Beauty, and Love, and the Path.
I have been reflective recently of the cursed blessings I have been the recipient of over the years. More than one semi angry/confused person in various break-up contexts has said, "I hope you find what you're looking for," or "I hope you find what brings you happiness," as if it didn't or wouldn't exist out there, as if I am blinded in some utopian and delusional search. Life, in all of its painfulness and its joys is an exploration, the end point ultimately just a guide post. As a Libran and a wood rabbit, I would certainly feel more confident if I had a clearer glimpse of the adventures ahead, and yet this is the moment to leap, to simply receive what is given.
I leave you with this poem by Michael Ondaatje from his poetry collection, Handwriting (Vintage 1998):
Last Ink
In certain countries aromas pierce the heart and one dies
half waking in the night as an owl and a murderer's cart go by
the way someone in your life will talk out love and grief
then leave your company laughing.
In certain languages the calligraphy celebrates
where you met the plum blossom and moon by chance
-the dusk light, the cloud pattern,
recorded always in your heart
and the rest of the world- chaos,
circling your winter boat.
Night of the Plum and Moon.
Years later you shared it
on a scroll or nudged
the ink onto stone
to hold the vista of a life.
A condensary of time in the mountains
-your rain-swollen gate, a summer
scarce with human meeting.
Just bells from another village.
The memory of a woman walking down stairs.
*
Life on an ancient leaf
or a crowded 5th-century seal
this mirror-world of art
-lying on it as if a bed.
When you first saw her,
the night of moon and plum,
you could speak of this to no one.
You cut your desire
against a river stone.
You caught yourself
in a cicada-wing rubbing,
lightly inked.
The indelible darker self.
A seal, the Masters said,
must contain bowing and leaping,
"and that which hides in waters."
Yellow, drunk with ink,
the scroll unrolls to the west
a river journey, each story
an owl in the dark, its child-howl
unreachable now
-that father and daughter,
that lover walking naked down blue stairs
each step jarring the humming from her mouth.
I want to die on your chest but not yet,
she wrote, sometime in the 13th century
of our love
before the yellow age of paper
before her story became a song,
lost in imprecise reproductions
until caught in jade,
whose spectrum could hold the black greens
the chalk-blue of her eyes in daylight.
*
Out altering love, our moonless faith.
Last ink in pen.
My body on this hard bed.
The moment in the heart
where I roam restless, searching
for the thin border of the fence
to break through or leap.
Leaping and bowing.
Many years ago, an immigrant from Ireland of my parents' generation said to me while talking about why people leave their homelands,
"One cannot live on beauty alone."
At the time, I had just finished my graduate program and was working about 3 different jobs in Chicago, none of which provided health insurance. Simultaneously my immune system was crashing and I was very very sick. Downtrodden worker bee that I was, I accepted that statement without any argument and thought, gee, maybe you better settle down and accept a full-time job in every sense of "acceptance". It is the practical thing to do. Beauty? Beauty doesn't pay the medical bills or rent.
Recently, I mentioned this statement to my partner and asked rather plaintively, what do you think, can one live on beauty alone? Kort's response, what are you talking about? Of course you can! Coming from him, I was filled with a great confidence about the future. There are compromises and sacrifices made with every decision, but as Gen-X'ers, and as products of a Naropan education, our decisions are based on something outside of our parents' and our predecessors' value systems. In the end what is there really, what reason to live, but Beauty, and Love, and the Path.
I have been reflective recently of the cursed blessings I have been the recipient of over the years. More than one semi angry/confused person in various break-up contexts has said, "I hope you find what you're looking for," or "I hope you find what brings you happiness," as if it didn't or wouldn't exist out there, as if I am blinded in some utopian and delusional search. Life, in all of its painfulness and its joys is an exploration, the end point ultimately just a guide post. As a Libran and a wood rabbit, I would certainly feel more confident if I had a clearer glimpse of the adventures ahead, and yet this is the moment to leap, to simply receive what is given.
I leave you with this poem by Michael Ondaatje from his poetry collection, Handwriting (Vintage 1998):
Last Ink
In certain countries aromas pierce the heart and one dies
half waking in the night as an owl and a murderer's cart go by
the way someone in your life will talk out love and grief
then leave your company laughing.
In certain languages the calligraphy celebrates
where you met the plum blossom and moon by chance
-the dusk light, the cloud pattern,
recorded always in your heart
and the rest of the world- chaos,
circling your winter boat.
Night of the Plum and Moon.
Years later you shared it
on a scroll or nudged
the ink onto stone
to hold the vista of a life.
A condensary of time in the mountains
-your rain-swollen gate, a summer
scarce with human meeting.
Just bells from another village.
The memory of a woman walking down stairs.
*
Life on an ancient leaf
or a crowded 5th-century seal
this mirror-world of art
-lying on it as if a bed.
When you first saw her,
the night of moon and plum,
you could speak of this to no one.
You cut your desire
against a river stone.
You caught yourself
in a cicada-wing rubbing,
lightly inked.
The indelible darker self.
A seal, the Masters said,
must contain bowing and leaping,
"and that which hides in waters."
Yellow, drunk with ink,
the scroll unrolls to the west
a river journey, each story
an owl in the dark, its child-howl
unreachable now
-that father and daughter,
that lover walking naked down blue stairs
each step jarring the humming from her mouth.
I want to die on your chest but not yet,
she wrote, sometime in the 13th century
of our love
before the yellow age of paper
before her story became a song,
lost in imprecise reproductions
until caught in jade,
whose spectrum could hold the black greens
the chalk-blue of her eyes in daylight.
*
Out altering love, our moonless faith.
Last ink in pen.
My body on this hard bed.
The moment in the heart
where I roam restless, searching
for the thin border of the fence
to break through or leap.
Leaping and bowing.
Thanks to Barbara Jane for the eloquent write-up on Equivalence which can be found here.
Thanks also to Adam Smith of Sampan for this piece.
Look for more press forthcoming in the April 15th print edition of EW.
Thanks also to Adam Smith of Sampan for this piece.
Look for more press forthcoming in the April 15th print edition of EW.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
First go here:
http://www.koarecords.com/details_asian.jpg
than go here and please consider signing this petition to boycott Details Magazine:
http://www.petitiononline.com/details4/petition.html
Though I signed it, I feel differently about the William Hung issue which is cited in the petition. I fully support William, not because he is Asian, but because he is courageous and possesses a great integrity that is lacking in many.
http://www.koarecords.com/details_asian.jpg
than go here and please consider signing this petition to boycott Details Magazine:
http://www.petitiononline.com/details4/petition.html
Though I signed it, I feel differently about the William Hung issue which is cited in the petition. I fully support William, not because he is Asian, but because he is courageous and possesses a great integrity that is lacking in many.
Packing for this weekend, and simultaneously packing for my move to New Hampshire next week. Came home early from work and napped. Dreamt of breaking a tooth - something feels funny in the dream and when I push my tongue up against my front tooth, it breaks and crumbles in my mouth and I am spitting out tooth fragments like plaster. I call the dentist but they don't believe it's an emergency and can't fit me in before I'm due to depart for residency. I wake up, and it's all I can do from stopping myself from looking in the mirror to reassure myself it was a dream. It's 5:30 when I wake up.
Later K comes home and I tell him about the tooth dream. He suggests that I'm holding some anxiety about something stopping me from going next week. Hmmm....
Later K comes home and I tell him about the tooth dream. He suggests that I'm holding some anxiety about something stopping me from going next week. Hmmm....
Cruising Craig's List Portland for local leads in the community and came across one interesting posting and one upsetting posting. The interesting posting - Gumball Poetry is looking for a Director to help the group transition into being a full-fledged non-profit. Gumball is an interesting enterprise - the magazine exists as a webzine and in micro-form, encased in gumball "capsules" which are distributed in gumball machines scattered across the US. Friendly people, good poetry, innovative distribution, deserving of much praise.
The annoying posting was not actually for an opportunity in Portland, but for a tele-commuting opportunity for writers with a Texas connection. Having lived in Texas (and LIKED it), I thought, hmmm... interesting. So I punch in the website, come to the main page and there is an absolutely horrendous adapted paraphrase of a racist and sexist quote lifted from a Kubrick movie and directed towards Asian women and the sex trade as their "catchphrase". At first, it doesn't sink in, I click thru the entry screen quickly, and than I go back, thinking, NO, it wouldn't say that, now would it? I could hardly believe it. So I emailed the editor. It is somewhat significant that I responded in a concrete way rather than simply stewing, as I let people I actually know get away with worse, or at least similar, on a semi-regular basis. Perhaps this will mark a shift towards being more vocal about many issues. But than being vocal is often simply a matter of having the right vocabulary and background to enter the discourse.
The annoying posting was not actually for an opportunity in Portland, but for a tele-commuting opportunity for writers with a Texas connection. Having lived in Texas (and LIKED it), I thought, hmmm... interesting. So I punch in the website, come to the main page and there is an absolutely horrendous adapted paraphrase of a racist and sexist quote lifted from a Kubrick movie and directed towards Asian women and the sex trade as their "catchphrase". At first, it doesn't sink in, I click thru the entry screen quickly, and than I go back, thinking, NO, it wouldn't say that, now would it? I could hardly believe it. So I emailed the editor. It is somewhat significant that I responded in a concrete way rather than simply stewing, as I let people I actually know get away with worse, or at least similar, on a semi-regular basis. Perhaps this will mark a shift towards being more vocal about many issues. But than being vocal is often simply a matter of having the right vocabulary and background to enter the discourse.
From : PJ Nights
Sent : Sunday, March 28, 2004 12:44 PM
To : shinyu32@hotmail.com
Subject : MiPo Magazine - New England edition
Hello,
First of all, I apologize for sending several of you
the same email. I hope you don't regard this as spam,
but as a sincere effort to contact a wide variety of
New England poets.
I'm writing to invite you submit unpublished works to
the New England Edition of MiPo Magazine to be
published in September 2004. We are an online journal
in its fourth year of publication. The most recent
edition was guest-edited by David Trinidad and
features poetry by Elaine Equi, David Lehman, Amy
Gerstler, Anselm Berrigan, Ron Padgett, Maureen Seaton
and many more. Here the link to the issue:
http://www.mipoesias.com
Submission guidelines can be found here:
http://www.mipoesias.com/April2004/guidelines.htm
Submissions should be sent to me in the body of the
email.
Thank you for your time.
PJ Nights
senior editor, MiPo
Sent : Sunday, March 28, 2004 12:44 PM
To : shinyu32@hotmail.com
Subject : MiPo Magazine - New England edition
Hello,
First of all, I apologize for sending several of you
the same email. I hope you don't regard this as spam,
but as a sincere effort to contact a wide variety of
New England poets.
I'm writing to invite you submit unpublished works to
the New England Edition of MiPo Magazine to be
published in September 2004. We are an online journal
in its fourth year of publication. The most recent
edition was guest-edited by David Trinidad and
features poetry by Elaine Equi, David Lehman, Amy
Gerstler, Anselm Berrigan, Ron Padgett, Maureen Seaton
and many more. Here the link to the issue:
http://www.mipoesias.com
Submission guidelines can be found here:
http://www.mipoesias.com/April2004/guidelines.htm
Submissions should be sent to me in the body of the
email.
Thank you for your time.
PJ Nights
senior editor, MiPo
Sunday, March 28, 2004
My friend Ferenc has come and gone from Boston. Saw the new photographs/collage pieces that he has been working on for our sports project and was stunned. Laid images out on our coffee table - boy in boxing gear, head in football helmet, roller derby girl, figure in wrestling mask - began to notice the emergence of holes popping out of the images, a ear hole in boxing head gear, the opening in a football helmet, the holes thru which laces are threaded for a wrestling mask, the slightly open mouth of the roller derby girl - another orifice or opening.
New poems to write - on swimming, boxing, roller derby and on the notion of "passing" - making a pass from player to player in a game, but also the notion of passing in society - passing for straight, passing for white, etc. etc.
Put together a budget of what it costs for F to produce 15 photos (our end goal) and was slightly demoralized by the high cost - $5000 for 15 images! Argggh.
New poems to write - on swimming, boxing, roller derby and on the notion of "passing" - making a pass from player to player in a game, but also the notion of passing in society - passing for straight, passing for white, etc. etc.
Put together a budget of what it costs for F to produce 15 photos (our end goal) and was slightly demoralized by the high cost - $5000 for 15 images! Argggh.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
If you are in Chicago for AWP this weekend, or maybe you live in Chicago (hi, Lar!), please go to the opening tomorrow (friday) night of "Entanglement: Postures of Delirium", an exhibition of new photo collage work by Aimee Beaubien at the Carl Hammer Gallery, 740 N. Wells Street. Reception for Aimee from 6-8 p.m.
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