The early draft of this poem didn't quite capture the difficulty of trying to stay on a higher path... this version still rough but getting closer to the feeling ..
The Diamond Path
the stone of my engagement
ring escapes from its setting
somewhere between
deboarding the plane
at midnight in the Inland
Empire & arriving
at my girlhood home in Highgrove
where the county's motto is still
homicide, suicide, Riverside
when I wake on the first
day of my stopover,
a yawning loss where light
once winked, the attachments
I’ve fixed upon in my
misunderstanding of
the dharma: there is always
suffering & something lost
so I’ve grown skilled at trading
attachments – a father’s affection
for a husband’s, the creative
fire between conspirators who
make a world together,
the healing touch
of my naturopath’s hand
I can never get it right
speech, mind & livelihood
the confusion of desire
that demands I feel
everything, to always give
over all of this heart
I contemplate
my wedding band
remembering the vow
a circle of gold,
the engraved Indic script
of Avalokitesvara’s mantra,
a promise of recovery
& a dream for the real
wish-fulfilling jewel
